Why is saying ‘sorry’ so difficult? Fear of losing face, damaging your reputation, or the shame of admitting fault that could invite further criticism often holds people back from doing what feels right. In hierarchical workplaces, managers may feel that admitting a mistake undermines their authority, while employees might worry about career repercussions. But avoiding genuine apologies can backfire, fostering distrust and resentment.
An apology at work can build or break trust
Apologising at work can be a daunting task. Often, employees and managers hesitate to say ‘sorry’ outright, opting for vague, noncommittal phrases like, ‘I apologise for any hurt caused.’ Such equivocal apologies avoid admitting wrongdoing, instead shifting the focus to others’ feelings without acknowledging personal accountability.
For managers, mastering the art of apologising is especially critical. When leaders apologise sincerely, they model accountability, promote a culture of openness, and build trust with their teams. A heartfelt apology: ‘I was wrong, and I’m sorry for how this impacted the team. Here’s how I’ll fix it’ – demonstrates integrity and a commitment to improvement.
Celebrities recently have provided a good example of how a poorly delivered apology can do more harm than good. Deflecting blame or using conditional language (‘I’m sorry if you felt that way’) communicates insincerity and undermines the apology’s purpose. Recently, in his first attempt at an apology after a raft of sexual misconduct allegations were made against him, Masterchef host Gregg Wallace dug himself into a deeper hole by referring to his accusers as ‘middle class women of a certain age’ – a clear lesson in how not to deliver a sincere apology.
True apologies require courage and empathy, showing a willingness to be vulnerable for the sake of repairing relationships and fostering a healthy workplace culture. A good apology isn’t just about saying ‘sorry’ – it’s about meaning it.
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